If you’ve never sat through a deposition, imagine this: you’re under harsh lights, surrounded by lawyers, a court reporter, maybe even your ex’s new partner watching. Every question feels invasive, every pause suffocating. Now imagine all of that is recorded, transcribed, and filed into your permanent record.
That’s why I compare a deposition to a public colonoscopy—it’s invasive, uncomfortable, and exposes everything you’d rather keep private.
What a Deposition Really Is
On paper, a deposition is just a formal question-and-answer session under oath. In reality, it’s an interrogation designed to rattle you, trip you up, and expose your most vulnerable details.
Attorneys thrive on depositions because they’re a goldmine of information. Every slip of the tongue, every emotional crack, becomes ammunition in the courtroom.
Here’s what makes them brutal:
- No judge present: There’s no one to rein in aggressive questioning.
- Endless scope: They can ask about your finances, relationships, habits—nothing is off-limits.
- High stress: You’re sworn in, recorded, and fully exposed. One wrong word can haunt your case.
The Emotional Side No One Warns You About
Beyond the legal strategy, depositions are emotionally devastating. It’s one thing to fight for your rights in court—it’s another to sit there while a stranger digs into your life as if you’re under a microscope.
It feels humiliating. Invasive. Dehumanizing. And that’s the point. Attorneys don’t just want facts—they want to wear you down so you’ll settle out of exhaustion or fear.
How to Survive Your Legal Colonoscopy
- Prepare like your future depends on it. Don’t just skim questions with your lawyer—practice answering under pressure. Short, simple, direct. No extras.
- Never guess. If you don’t know the answer, say “I don’t know.” Guessing gives them openings to twist your words.
- Control your emotions. Depositions are designed to push your buttons. The calmer you remain, the less power they have.
- Remember the record. Everything you say is transcribed. Speak as if a judge will read it tomorrow—because they probably will.
- Take breaks. You’re allowed to pause. If things get overwhelming, use that right.
The Financial Angle
Depositions don’t just strip you emotionally—they drain your wallet too. Every hour of questioning racks up legal fees for you and billable hours for your attorney. Sometimes, attorneys drag out depositions not because they need the information, but because it’s profitable.
You’re paying to be humiliated. And your lawyer is cashing in on your pain.
Flip the Script
A deposition may feel like a colonoscopy, but here’s the difference: you can prepare. You can go in informed, composed, and armed with strategies that turn the spotlight back on them.
When you strip away the intimidation tactics, a deposition is just words on paper. If you keep your answers tight, factual, and unemotional, you rob them of the weapon they’re trying to create.
You Are Not Powerless
Divorce is already one of the most invasive experiences you’ll ever face. A deposition can feel like the lowest point. But it doesn’t define you. It’s just one step in a process that you can—and will—get through.
And when you walk out of that room knowing you didn’t crack, you didn’t give them what they wanted, you’ll realize something powerful: your dignity is still yours.